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Better than Kevin Owens’ Promo Skills…It’s WWE Elimination Chamber!

Hello, wrestling fans. We are two weeks removed from WWE Payback, which far exceeded my expectations, and we have arrived at yet another May Pay per view event. The Elimination Chamber has returned and for all the right reasons.

I don’t want to hype up the event to only be disappointed. With only 6 matches and 2 main event caliber matchups, there isn’t much for WWE to screw up, but you know, they always find new ways to make us ask the golden question: “Who books this crap?”

WWE was smart to not just make a cluster fuck chamber match that we know Seth Rollins would walk out of. Instead, we see the emphasis on the vacant Intercontinental championship. We also have a first ever Tag Team Elimination Chamber match for the Tag Team Championships. That’s all I’m going to say about it. I don’t want to jinx it.

Let’s get down to the predictions:

Bo Dallas vs. Neville

This match is a hidden gem. It’s good to see NXT stars getting some real estate on pay per view events. While there is no great build to this matchup, it should still deliver from a technical standpoint. I Bo-lieve that Dallas will score the win here making it an even score between the two. Neville has been on a roll, but it would be a waste to just have him win again. If WWE didn’t Bo-lieve in Bo, they wouldn’t have put him in this kind of scenario. Bo-lieve that.

Prediction: Bo Dallas

Naomi vs. Nikki Bella © vs. Paige (Triple Threat for the Divas Championship)

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is very rare that we see Divas in anything but a singles or tag match. In WWE, you’re more likely to see a costume contest or a pudding fight than a Triple Threat Match. These 3 ladies are quite possibly the best Divas on the roster. For now. They are in for a rude awakening when those NXT Divas get called up. Nevertheless, this should be a great contest. I think it’s too easy to say that Nikki will retain, or that Naomi will win the belt. My prediction here is that Paige will win the title because she is the only one without help. The feud between the Bellas and Tamina and Naomi can escalate without the Divas Title, and Paige can defend the belt against everyone else. Be prepared for events to have at least two divas matches on them from now on. As long as Total Divas remains juicy, they will continue to get chances.

Prediction: Paige wins the Divas Championship

John Cena vs. Kevin Owens

I’m going to be honest. I love Kevin Owens in the ring, but the guy should NOT talk. He is absolutely terrible on the microphone. I don’t think he can sound any less enthused about beating people up. With that said, it looks like WWE is putting some stock in Owens, they will be calling him up to the main roster very soon. I’m pretty sure this is just a feeler match that will have no resolution whatsoever. I don’t see Cena jobbing in any fashion. The US Title open challenges are a vital part of Monday Night Raw and it shouldn’t leave any time soon. John Cena is the right guy to hold the belt, for now. Owens will make a fine showing, and may even lay Cena out for a DQ finish. Neither guy can really afford the loss, hence why I’m predicting the stalemate. After he’s done, Owens can go back to those acting classes at NXT and drop the belt to Samoa Joe.

Prediction: No Contest.

A New Day © vs. The Ascension vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players vs. The Lucha Dragons (Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber)

 

 

 

 

 

 

It should be interesting to see how they execute this, as it has never been done before. The first thing I thought when I heard this match announced was if two people were going to fit in a pod. I feel bad for Kofi sharing a pod with Big E. I predict that this match could steal the show. Six tag teams in a chamber should at least be as good as any of the tag team TLC matches of the attitude era. A New Day should walk out victorious because they need the win the most. Having championship gold makes you suck less. Notice how I said less because A New Day still sucks. They have always sucked. And they will always suck.

Prediction: A New Day

Seth Rollins © vs. Dean Ambrose (WWE Championship)

It is going to be tough to out do two chamber matches, but if any two guys can do it, these guys can. There isn’t much to say about these two. It’s going to be a great match. These guys stole the show at Hell in a Cell last year, and this should be no different. I just wish Ambrose would do that clothesline where he fake falls through the ropes, less. It is too over the top and he does it too frequently. It’s just as bad as anything that Ric Flair did to excess, like his infamous “Flair Flop”. We all know that Rollins isn’t going to lose because every match with Seth Rollins is a handicap match. How many things does the Authority help Seth Rollins with? Can Seth Rollins tie his own shoes? Can he wipe his own ass? It doesn’t matter, because he’s leaving with the belt.

Prediction: Seth Rollins

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev vs. King Barrett vs R-Truth vs. Ryback (Elimination Chamber for the Intercontinental Championship)

 

While it isn’t super obvious who is going to win, I’ll tell you who isn’t going to win. Four of these guys will definitely not win, and I’ll tell you why. R-Truth will not win because he’s old. King Barrett will not win because he already has a crown and robe. They gave him that crown and robe because he couldn’t hold the Intercontinental Championship for more than six weeks because of injury. Ryback will not win, because he sucks. Dolph Ziggler will not win because he’s already held the belt. And his name is Dolph Ziggler. This leaves us with two people. These two people are the people that need the win the most and would benefit most from said win. Sheamus could use a run with the belt because that hair and beard aren’t doing much for him. Does he buy his groceries like that? I sure hope not. With that said, I think Rusev is the man that will win. He has suffered the most damage since Wrestlemania and needs the belt to refresh his character. Since the Intercontinental Championship is a belt for Planet Earth (According to Santino Marella), WWE can phase out of his Anti-American gimmick and make him into a monster heel again. I even think we can see a double cross from Lana on Dolph Ziggler, helping Rusev win the belt. It would be nice however to see a full split between the two and see Rusev develop solo.

Prediction: Rusev wins the Intercontinental Championship (If he is injured then Sheamus)

You never know with WWE anymore. Two weeks ago, there was an event that sucked on paper that totally delivered in real life. Two weeks later there is an event that looks phenomenal on paper, but could be executed poorly. I don’t think that should be the case here. There appears to be no duds on the card, and the emphasis was put on the right feuds and storylines. While Bray Wyatt is once again missing, and we are missing Roman Reigns, we are blessed with another event without Kane and the Big Show. That’s a relief. At the very least there is that.

Drew Arcilla

Video DJ, Obsessed WWE Fan, and Gadget enthusiast. If you really want to know, Just ask! :)

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