How About You Leave Your Stupid Comments in Your Pockets?
Hey folks, yeah I know it’s Friday for this Tuesday column, but I’m switching the days around because I can, and so that you can read some quality shitposts at work on Friday when you take a long afternoon shit to close out the week – keep up I move fast. I had actually written an article about something that annoyed me in the ‘News’ but about halfway through I realized that unlike my other award-winning articles I really wasn’t providing a new perspective or offering a meaningful discussion – even through my usual crooked lens.
Which brings me to this week’s topic of [Literally insert whatever people are angry and won’t shut the fuck up about, trust me this will work for many years] because quite frankly we have too many shitlords who need to do something very simple.
Shut the fuck up.
Honestly you do not need to comment on every. SINGLE. FUUUUCCCCKKKKEEEENNNN thing that happens with your shitty attitude. Listen I get it. I get that today news travels fast, there’s always something to talk about. You don’t want to be left out, hell talking in your chat rooms and your forums and your Facebook comments is you socializing. Which objectively is good.
Here’s where it breaks down though. Objectively you will have an opinion or a topic or something that you want to talk about, and you should just take those words and push em right back down your throat and chop off your goddamn fingers before hitting enter. Like I said at the start – this happens to me too. I know that I’m not some paragon, but I can at least recognize that maybe hey – maybe this doesn’t need to be said. It’s not easy either, but here’s some tips.
- Are you actually contributing something meaningful or just your opinion – Reader Beware – they may not both be true!
- Have you discussed this topic before, and had people want you to stop back then?
- Would your shitty opinion make it clear there’s a high probability you are a shitty person? (because spoiler alert we all kind of are in our own special snowflake way)
- DO you really, and I mean REALLY think that the audience you are speaking your opinion too will be met with questions, with thoughtful rebuttals, and possibly a change or perspective. Or will be people think ‘there they go again, ugh why do we let this person into our lives.’
If your comments and thoughts really don’t pass the above test, maybe you should consider doing something?
Like shutting the fuck up.
No really. I know we love hearing our thoughts, and the praise people give us for it – I mean I write for Nerdfit so the praise is small, but hey it’s something. We love these things, but that’s the thing about balance or some other cosmic scale thing, sometimes in order to make ourselves feel better about our own thoughts and hopes and dream we basically make everyone else feel shittier. We would have been better off just writing it in a journal hoping maybe we get Anne Franked one day (although without the weird cat sex thing, and the Nazi’s). At the end of the day that’s likely where it should belong.
Because these ideas, they might be a t-shirt or hat, something that we can show and maybe it’s good for people. But maybe sometimes it’s some dryer lint, a creepy voodoo doll of Erik, or a Glenn dildo – and hey keep that shit in your bag, or your pockets, or maybe at home.
So I say once again – Leave your stupid comments in your pockets!
Anyway, I’m sorry, but that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?
The Buffalo is Nerdfit's longest active content contributor. Having helmed various podcasts (What's Nu in Animu, WritersCast), columns (I Hope Nippon Sempai Notices Me, Advanced Game Theory, Booze Reviews, Anime Season Previews, etc) - currently he writes a weekly article column of 'Buffalo's Shit to Think About'