GLENNS RAGE CORNER NUMBER EIGHT DOES NOT EQUAL D. OR RAPE.

That’s right, if you type that out, it spells “8==D.”  Today we tackle the issue of rape.  How, you ask?  In the form of a dickwolf.

Let’s get down to the basic facts.  If you haven’t seen the comic, here it is (and it’s probably nsfw.) The point of the joke is that, if you were to take a gamer’s attitude in an MMORPG and put it into context from the character’s perspective, the fact that you don’t save all of the slaves but just an arbitrary number is as twisted as the situation itself.

Yes, kids, someone used rape to describe the devastating importance of freeing all the slaves for the sake of their safety and sanity.  However, some people apparently cannot tolerate the use of rape in any context, even if it’s describing how horrible a situation is.  I’m not giving you the whole details of what happened, if you want to see that, read it yourself here.

I’m going to say the following things about this entire situation, since apparently nobody else takes the time to sit and think out their rants.

Point number one – Rape isn’t funny (but George Carlin came closest to making it funny.)

While I know one of my favorite comedians happened to prove this point wrong, we can all gladly agree that George Carlin was the only person I can think of that could make the issue even remotely funny.  Rape’s a horrible, violent act committed unto others that leaves people physically, mentally and emotionally damaged for any period of time from a few months to years or a lifetime.  No one whom is credible on either side of the argument has argued this. Moving on.

Point number two – The main point of the joke wasn’t promoting the act of raping anyone.

If you break down the comic, the humor actually lies in the preposterous attitude given by “the hero,” whom is solely wrapped-up in his own goals that he has no compassion or empathy for anything outside of his own objectives.  Given the circumstance that some of the fourth-wall comments and the character designs made in the comic suggest that this is in an RPG, they’re suggesting how it’s ludicrous to only save a handful of people whom are oppressed.

To put it into a real-world, time-appropriate analogy, how do you think we would all feel about only five people being free from Mubarak’s reign?  Now replace the comment of rape with being ruled by Mubarak, you have a humorous, political cartoon that uses the exact same joke. That means the joke was in the reaction of the “Hero,” not the act of rape.

Point number three – The only reason the dickwolves shirt is a big deal is because you’re overreacting to the concept of a dickwolf.

Here’s a link to where the picture of the shirt being sold is. Now that you know what the story of a dickwolf is, you could question whether or not it means it’s condoning rape.  Truth be told, it can go either way.  To those who know the joke, they could think about how it’s a throw-back reference to that particular comic strip.  People who don’t know what it is will either think it’s stupid and immature, or… stupid and immature (but hey, the phrase “dickwolf” is right up there with “Ass-Goblin,” “Dick-knob” and “Cockmongler” in both the sense of immaturity and related humor.)

If you want to get offended over an imaginary monster that condones rape and the act of raping women, boycott Japan for their abundant use of tentacle monsters in hentai to bypass their censorship laws.  They have pictures, manga, and videos all about tentacle rape, and someone even made a soda.  The soda even suggests a schoolgirl getting assaulted by a set of tentacles.  I didn’t hear about Kirbybits or any of the rest of these crusaders making a scene or marching up to congress about any of this…

Dickwolves are BAD, but THIS is more acceptable?

But Glenn, what about the fact that dickwolves and the dickwolves shirt are a prominent example of the sexual objectification of women in the gaming community?

Are you kidding me?  Conventions, conferences, trade shows, advertisements on TV, magazines, and websites for video games have been using sex as a motivation to pay attention to their message and buy their products for well over a decade through various means.  Hey I know, here’s three of the many ways they’ve done it:

1. “Booth babes” and “promotional babes.”
   

   Hey, at least this one also involves a "booth hunk," right ladies?

2. Advertising in magazines aimed for male gamers between 12 and 35.  (Like this advertisement for Gex, circa 1998 in various magazines such as GamePro.)
3. Making female characters “sexier” in video games (Nope, they’ve never done that…  wait.)

Do dickwolves really objectify, hyper-sexualize and potentially segregate the female gamer demographic like all of this?  I don’t think so.

But don’t think the gaming industry is the only place that does this, kids, because it’s all around you. Go outside and look at billboards, look in a magazine, watch TV, that’s what advertising does–  sells you anything through the means of fear or arousal.  Now go donate to Nerdfit, or we’ll (consensually) fuck you off of a cliff.

A side-note to all of you who believe rape objectifies only women, are you saying men can’t be raped?  If so, isn’t that an inaccurate double-standard in itself?  Regardless of your last answer, you’re just as bad as what you’re crusading against and should stop talking.

So here’s my conclusion, for all of you who don’t read because reading is too much effort for your tiny, little heads:

• The joke from that Penny Arcade comic strip was about how horrible it is to be self-centered and only motivated extrinsically.
• Yes, everyone agrees, rape is a terrible, terrible thing.
• The joke wasn’t condoning rape of any gender.
  
• Neither does the dickwolves shirt, although I still wouldn’t be caught dead in it.
• You all need to learn to pick and choose your battles…  this wasn’t it.
• Shut.  Up.  About.  It.  I want to enjoy my PAX East without people arguing about a fictitious creature.  It’s pointless, does nothing but create more problems for everyone involved, and you’re all still idiots.
• For those of you whom took that last statement and thought “OMG HE’S SAYING DON’T REPORT BEING RAPED!” …  Punch yourself really, really hard in the face since I can’t be there to do that.  You should always take a stand for yourself in a situation like that, even though it’s incredibly difficult to do so.  You should also develop your reading comprehension.
  

With that being said, I’ll see you at PAX East.  Feel free to (respectfully) agree or disagree with what I just wrote here, but I’m officially done with this issue (barring the incredibly unlikely possibility someone asks me to discuss this for a large audience.)  Hopefully, all of you are done, as well.